 When was the last time you gave thought to what you value most? Our values lie at the core of who we are – they define what we deem important in life and in work -- but they are very infrequently verbally expressed. Instead many of us choose to communicate what we value through our behavior and actions. We are content and at peace when our values and our actions align. On the contrary, when we experience tension, anxiety and unrest, it is a sign that our beliefs and our actions are out of balance. WHEN WE HONOR OUR VALUES, WE MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON CLEARLY DEFINED PRIORITIES. WE ARE PURPOSEFUL WITH OUR CHOICES AND WE FEEL A SENSE OF WHOLENESS AND FULFILLMENT. WHEN WE ARE OUT OF TOUCH WITH OUR VALUES, WE HAVE NO INTERNAL COMPASS TO HELP US MAKE DECISIONS. WE TEND TO PRIORITIZE THE WRONG THINGS WHICH CAN LEAD TO UNHAPPINESS AND DISSATISFACTION. Often, we’ll have a vague recognition that something is wrong, but won’t take steps to delve deeper until a change in circumstance, such as starting a family, or a more negative event like a job loss or a family illness jolts us to action. Those events can serve as important wake-up calls, but should they be the only time we open ourselves to taking stock of what’s truly important? Today is as good as any other day. DEFINING OUR VALUES CAN HELP US MAKE IMPORTANT LIFE DECISIONS AND ANSWER IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. - What type of job will I find fulfilling? - How can I prioritize my personal and professional goals? - Where should I live? - What kind of role model do I want to be to my kids? UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU VALUE MOST IS THE FIRST STEP IN CREATING A ROAD MAP TO LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE. ALTHOUGH OUR CORE VALUES ARE GENERALLY STABLE, SOMETIMES AS WE GROW OR OUR SITUATIONS CHANGE, WHAT WE ONCE DEEMED IMPORTANT SHIFTS. OFTEN, WE WITNESS THOSE SHIFTS IN THINKING AFTER BIG LIFE EVENTS. Keeping a check on our values is therefore a lifelong exercise. Taking some time to revisit what you value can help you stay on the right course, clarify your priorities and re-balance your life. EXERCISE. STEP 1. Think about the times in your life (starting childhood through present) where you’ve felt happiest and most fulfilled. What were you doing (personally, professionally)? Who were you with? What goals were you accomplishing? Write down any common themes. For example, you notice that you feel happiest and most fulfilled when you are entertaining others, spreading joy and laughter, putting on formal or informal performances, and being the life of the party. Or, you may be most fulfilled when you are helping others in need and providing a service that helps other people improve their circumstances. You like to provide help in times of crisis. STEP 2. Read through the list of values below. Go through the list once and cross out any values that clearly don’t match with what you deem important. For example, if you enjoy solitude, reading and quiet walks by yourself or a close friend, then socializing is probably not your most important value. Cross it off the list. Do this until you’ve narrowed down to 30-40 values. Next, look through the remaining values and group together any values that overlap. For example, Honesty, Integrity, and Lack of Pretense would go together.
STEP 3.
Keeping in mind your reflections from Step 1, compare the remaining values/buckets of values. Which of the remaining values do you consistently honor in your life? Which would you like to prioritize more? You are trying to identify your top 10. It may help to pick two at a time and think about them side by side. Your goal is to re-order them from least important (at the bottom) to most important (at the top). For example, if you are comparing Achievement and Adventure/Fun, you may think of a situation where you are given a last minute opportunity to travel to an exotic place you’ve always wanted to explore. Perhaps it's a friend's destination wedding. At the same time, you are on track for a promotion at work, but know that taking time off would set you back and/or possibly cost you the promotion. How would you resolve the conflict? Would you choose Adventure over Achievement or vice versa? Re-order the values accordingly. Prioritizing like this will take some time but it is a worthy exercise. WHEN YOU CAN CLEARLY DEFINE AND EXPRESS YOUR VALUES, YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF LIVING A MORE PURPOSEFUL AND CONTENT LIFE. YOU WILL FIND IT EASIER TO MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS AND WILL FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH THE CHOICES YOU MAKE. LIVING A LIFE IN ACCORDANCE WITH ONE’S VALUES MAY NOT ALWAYS BE EASY, BUT IT WILL ALWAYS GUIDE YOU IN THE DIRECTION THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU.
0 Comments
 A couple of weeks ago, for my daughter’s birthday, a family friend sent her a gift: a book called “The Most Magnificent Thing.” It’s a story of a girl with an idea.
It’s the most magnificent idea. Just what will it take to make it real? “She knows just how it will look. She knows just how it will work”, the story goes. “Easy-peasy. But making the most magnificent thing turns out to be harder than she thinks. She measures, hammers, fastens, and adjusts again and again, but the thing just keeps turning out wrong. If only the thing WOULD JUST WORK!” She tries and tries again. But it is still wrong. The girl gets mad. Mad enough to want to quit. “I am no good at this,” the girl says. What happens then? Does she persevere? Or give up? How does she respond when she encounters a challenge? In 2006, a psychologist and a professor at Stanford University, Carol Dweck, Ph.D., wrote a book called “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.” In it, she introduces the idea of mindsets, or beliefs about yourself. As a scientist and researcher, Dweck discovered in the course of her career that people are predisposed to holding two separate mindsets, the fixed mindset and the growth mindset, and that the differences in how people think are already apparent in early childhood. These differences are particularly evident in how people respond to failure. People with the fixed mindset believe that their success or failure is a direct reflection of their innate abilities. In other words, if they succeed, it’s proof that they are smart and capable. On the other hand, if they encounter a particularly difficult challenge, it’s proof that they are lacking in ability. They are less likely to try again after a failed attempt, because they are afraid of being perceived in a negative way, by themselves and others. Those with the growth mindset, however, see the results of their efforts not as a reflection on their ability, but as evidence of how hard they worked to solve the problem. They approach problems with enthusiasm and see them as an opportunity to learn and get better. If they meet with a challenging problem, their confidence in themselves does not deteriorate – but their resolve to find the solution grows. According to Dweck, the two mindsets lie on a continuum – the way you think is not a black-and-white dichotomy. She argues that with effort and awareness you can put yourself into the growth mindset even if you start out with the fixed. And that’s what ultimately happens with our little heroine from “The Most Magnificent Thing.” She goes for a walk, and with the help of a friend, she is able to gain a new perspective. Her previous failed attempts are no longer ALL WRONG. “There are some parts of the WRONG things that are really quite RIGHT. The bolts on one, the shape of another, the wheel-to-seat ratio of the next. There are all sorts of parts that she likes!” She gets back to work. By evening time, the girl is finished. She’s made The Most Magnificent Thing. And best of all, she gets to enjoy it with her friend.  In a couple of weeks, colleges and universities around the country will wish farewell to thousands of eager new graduates. In a span of a few hours, this new cohort of grads will transition from a comfortable safety of school to the vast and uncertain terrain of the current job market.
Those that are lucky have a position already lined up. But for many, the competitive job environment foreshadows a tough uphill struggle to land their first job. Although the overall outlook of many new grads is one of optimism and hopeful expectations, current realities suggest that it would be wise to mix idealism with practicality. Although employers will always be drawn to applicants with strong academic records and a toolkit of technical skills, companies are showing a heightened preference for industry experience even for entry-level jobs. This has been particularly true in recent years as the applicant pool has swollen to include those who were laid-off in the downturn and the underemployed looking for more work. In addition, increased appetite for more non-traditional candidates suggests that employers are starting to recognize and value the backgrounds and qualities that are the linchpin of these applicants. Companies like Deloitte, PwC, Goldman Sacks, Bloomberg, PayPal, and many others, are starting to bring on board hundreds of women (and men) who are returning from a career break. Google, as just one example, has hired candidates with entrepreneurial backgrounds (and without college degrees), who can compete effectively in their application process. What this suggests is that today’s employer is seeking an expanded set of qualifications and skills, from what was traditionally considered desirable. It is no longer sufficient to have a high GPA, and the name of a good school on your resume. To get your foot in the door, you will also need to show that you possess: 1. Real-world experience Work-study and summer jobs, internships and industry volunteer experience provide an opportunity to “try-on” a job. They are a great way to get hands-on experience in a particular role, learn technical skills and gain understanding of what it’s like to work within an organizational culture. Employers are increasingly looking for this type of real-world experience because it helps them identify previously vetted applicants, and bring on board candidates that have shown the desire and the ability to work within a particular role. 2. Resilience Resilience is the ability to quickly get back on your feet after failure or set-backs. Frequently, years leading up to and through college present a protective shell designed to help students thrive and explore freely, but provide few opportunities for taking risk, and thereby truly experiencing set-backs. Failing, and most importantly, persevering through set-backs, is key to continued growth and development. Today, companies are on a mission to hire individuals who can show that they can quickly overcome hurdles and learn from mistakes while continuing to improve their performance. 3. Ability to think independently and creatively Although organizations will cite “being a team-player” as one of the key criteria for their new hires, at the same time they seek individuals who can show that they can be autonomous and think outside-the-box. Can you make your own decisions, and come up with unique strategies and solutions that improve internal processes? Can you be given a wide bandwidth within which you can do your job? Do you have potential for leadership within the company? These are some of the questions an employer will be considering during the interview process. 4. Listening and communication skills Employers know that individuals who communicate clearly can build and maintain relationships more easily, than those that have not developed those skills. As a result, these individuals are easier to work with and manage, and are able to perform well in group settings. Listening and being able to accurately interpret what others say, as well as synthesize information, are the linchpin of good communication. Employees also need to be able to express themselves clearly, both verbally and in writing. This is particularly true in our technological age, where face-to-face communication is frequently replaced with virtual. Can you show that you are a strong communicator? Employers will love to talk to you.  Get on the elevator, fancy a job
On the seventh floor You are going to the top Stop. Doors open You are only on two In walks a woman in a suit. Looks at you Speak, your brain says. She’s important But your mouth feels numb Sticky, gooey, like you’ve swallowed gum You have only one chance to impress Or hold your peace What will it be? Fight or flight No. Surprise Calm and serenity wash over you Handshake. Release Eye contact. Hold You’ve already spoken volumes And you are only on four Then a little voice says, don’t try so hard Be yourself, and if it’s right The connection will bloom Chances are You will know you’ve made it quite soon Relax and enjoy It’s a short ride to seven So different from the work you must do To get way up to heaven |
Archives
April 2019
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed